This is my second blog post and I have been reading advice on how to write a successful blog. Most of the advice says that you should “promote your brand.” Right now I don’t have a brand.
I don’t make anything and I don’t sell anything, I just write, or hope to. I want to write about my opinions and feelings and things that I hope other people can relate to. I have a 9-5 job. I’m not an expert on anything- maybe crazy people, I do have a psychology degree.
I just lost an extremely expensive shoe at a rap concert, made out with a former co worker at that rap concert- the evening was looking up until we got separated during the mosh pit/aggressive/scary dance fight that broke out, I just messed up my love life royally- this had nothing to do with making out with my former co worker, I messed that up before, actually it took two to mess that up so I won’t take total credit for that- and I just had a man that I had messaged 3 times on an online app invite me over for sex. I didn’t accept the invitation for those of you wondering. I also did give the former co worker my phone number and have yet to hear from him, if you are wondering that too. This has all happened within the last four days. The last four years would really blow your mind.
The advice for good blogs say to write about what you are passionate about. I’m passionate about writing and I’m passionate about laughing and I have done little of both lately. If I had spent the time I spent during the last four years, hell the last four months, focusing on myself instead of other people, I could rule the world- or maybe my part of it.
I have to go to work and smile in a couple of hours. It is 80’s day, thank God I have a “Dirty Dancing” t-shirt that my mother got me when she went to see the musical, See I’m fun, I’m going to be festive, even though I really feel like staying home in my pajamas with my dogs and watching all 35 seasons of “Grey’s Anatomy.” Damn fine show and a great show to watch alone while you wear your pajamas and cry with your dogs. I will say that the dogs become hurtfully unsympathetic during about the 5th or 6th season, right when I need them most. They just leave me lying there sobbing while I watch George and Denny die. I once saw a service dog on Oprah who was supposed to alert when his master was having a seizure. They placed video cameras in the house and eventually the lady did have a seizure. This was back when people had home phones with hand receivers. Not only did that dog nudge the hand receiver off of the phone with his nose, not only did that dog dial 911 with his paw, but when the operator answered, that dog said, “Woof.” After seeing that, my dogs abandoning me during the episode where George dies is particularly hurtful.
After all this rambling, I am going to do what adults do. I am going to put on my “Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner” sweatshirt, some pink glitter eye shadow, and turn on the Oprah Winfrey Network before I leave for work so that hopefully these ungrateful dogs will learn a thing or two before I get back home. That’s my brand today!